Happens everytime so it must be true
Where did you learn it’s either him or you?
You were almost kind
You were almost true
Don’t let me see that other side of you
You will learn in time that you must be cruel
I will have to wait to get the best of you
Poison in everything you say
Don’t you wonder what difference does it make?
Either waY
                                                              ---- "Either Way"-Guster

     He couldn’t stop grinning.  It was driving her up the wall.  He knew it.  She knew it.  And she was ready to wipe that silly look off his face.

“COME ON!”

“Don’t tell me that’s your best line?”

“Al I don’t need to use lines to get girls,”  he said in all seriousness.

Aliesa succumbed.  She cracked up.

He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.  “Admit it.  You can’t resist this face.  So babe.  How are we going to tell Shane about us?  I say you let him down easy.  He is one of my best friends after all.”

She playfully hit his arm. 

“Then again who wants a commitment right?  We could just have a tawdry affair and call it a day,”  he joked when she swatted at him again. 

“You really are a piece of work Bryan McFadden.”

“So I’ve been told.”  He said cracking a smile. 

Aliesa shook her head amused, swinging her legs back and forth at the edge of the tabletop.

Bryan placed his hands in her lap to stop the motion.  “Well?  You going to tell me what’s wrong or am I going to have to use my charms on you again?”

     Aliesa hesitated.  The guys had been nice to her.  They’d welcomed her with open arms, no questions asked.  They took to her right away, acting as if they had known her all their lives.  She’d appreciated it more than they could ever know.  It was the only thing that kept her sane under the circumstances.  They were all one big family, and she had become part of their circle.  She belonged. 
     They trusted.  And that’s what made it harder to lie to them about her relationship with Shane.  But, it was hardest with Bryan.  Out of all of the guys, he had been the first one to befriend her, to truly welcome her.  He always went out of his way to make sure she was comfortable whenever she went out with them.  He’d go over and sit next to her and talk.  He was always the first one to introduce her to everyone.  He made sure she got along with all of the other girlfriends.  Most of all, he wanted to make sure she and Shane were happy.  Because that was the kind of guy he was.  He had a big heart. 
     In the beginning he’d joked about how the guys and he were a bonus for marrying Shane, “sort of like a buy one get four free deal.”  But later he quipped that he liked to believe that even if she and Shane weren’t together they still would have become friends.  She had a soft spot for Bryan McFadden.   He called her Al and she didn’t mind one bit. 

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,”  she replied acting clueless, slipping off the table and onto the couch beside him.

“Me neither.  That’s how come you’re supposed to tell me.”

Aliesa met his eyes.  “I’m fine.”

“And I’m the President of the United States.”

“Hope so.  I voted for you,”  she answered sarcastically as she drummed her fingers against the side of the chair.

If she thought that it going to be easy to end the discussion she was wrong.  Bryan wasn’t about to let her off the hook.  “Al.  I know there is something going on in that head of yours that is bothering you.” 

“I’m fine.  I’m just overwhelmed that’s all.  Really.  You know how work is,” Aliesa said biting her lip as she lied. 

     He stared hard at her, his eyes unrelenting and unbelieving.  She lowered her gaze, tracing the pattern of the fabric on the couch.  The truth was she was far from fine.  In fact she was teetering on the edge.  Jeanne had called her just an hour ago to tell her that she was going to begin tour rehearsals on her return to the States in a week.  Aliesa had been ecstatic to find she could pull off headlining her own show, until Jeanne told her where she would be rehearsing.  It would be in London, close to where Shane would be recording his new album.  Jeanne had worked it out so that Aliesa and Shane could be together for more time.  And to add to that shock, Jeanne informed her that the best part was that after her own tour she’d go off and be the guys’ opening act when they went on their own worldwide tour in several months.  Aliesa was going to be stuck with Shane Filan for longer than she had bargained for.  When Shannon couldn’t be reached, she’d run out looking for Shane only to be told by Bryan that he had run off to take care of some stuff.  And so she was going to have to wait to let out her troubles, complaining to Bryan was not an option.

“Things okay with Shane?”  Bryan asked softly.

“You know how Shane is,” Aliesa replied, forcing the routine smile onto her face. 

Bryan didn’t say something right away.  He paused and analyzed her, his forehead crinkling with worry as he attempted to choose the right words to convey his message.  “Al I want you to know something.  It took Shane a long while to get over Gillian.  And he still isn’t the same guy I knew before he met her.  When he loves someone he loves them with everything that he has in him.  So when his heart breaks it shatters.” 

Aliesa stopped her traveling fingers. “What are you trying to say?”

Bryan wouldn’t look her in the eye.   “Shane can be stubborn.  He can be stupid sometimes.  He’s not perfect.  But no matter what he says or what he does don’t doubt his love.  He loves you Aliesa.  He loves you more than I’ve ever seen him love anyone else.  And I’ve seen a whole lot.” 

Aliesa breathed out.  “Bryan it’s not…” She began quietly. 

Bryan cut her off.  “Just love him Aliesa.  Just love him.”

     She found him staring out the window when she got back into the room.  He didn’t turn to acknowledge her presence.  He just remained engrossed with the view in front of him, blocked by a pane of glass.  His face was stoic, expressionless. 

“You ever wonder what it would be like to not be a pop star anymore?” he asked wistfully as she walked up beside him, touching the glass.  “To be like everyone else?”

She looked down at the street below, seeing the fans lined up against the street.  “Sometimes.  But I’ve been doing it so long I don’t think I remember what that would be like anymore.”

“And even if you could you wouldn’t want to would you,”  he said breaking his gaze and stepping back. 

 “Plans after the concert tonight?”  She said tearing her eyes away from the skyline. 

“We’re not flaunting ourselves in front of the cameras tonight if that’s what you mean,”  he answered coolly.

Talking to him was a battle in itself and she was sick of it.  “For once can you not try to start an argument? She crossed her arms and faced him.   “Is it possible to have a conversation in which you don’t accuse me of something?”

“Well I’m not the one who has to make everything an issue!”

“You’re the one making it an issue Shane, not me.”

“I’m not the one…FORGET IT.  Talking to you about anything is useless!”  Shane declared throwing his hands up and heading straight to the mini-bar.

“OH NO you’re not!  No alcohol.  Nothing good has ever come out of that!” Aliesa protested blocking his way.

“Just because you can’t hold your liquor doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“Shane don’t.  Please don’t.  You have a performance in a couple of hours.  This isn’t going to help anything.”

Shane knew she was right.  But, he hated that she was.  “FINE! YOU get your way AGAIN.   No drinks!  Anything else about my life you’d like to dictate?  You’re just so good at keeping me unhappy.  But what’s new?”  He spat.

Aliesa’s face-hardened.  Her jaw dropped slightly as she took in the verbal abuse.  He had never ever spoken to her so harshly.  Her eyes narrowed.  If he thought she was going to just sit there he was mistaken.   Before she had anytime to rationalize her actions, her fist came in contact with his face. 

He let out a yelp of pain, instantly covering his hands over where she had had struck him.

“OH SHANE!  I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.  I just…” Her expression quickly softened with shame.  “Oh god.  Is it turning purple? ”  She tried to pry his fingers away from his face.  “Let me see…” 

He jumped back at her touch.  Aliesa’s shoulders slumped a little at the action, apologetic.  She really hadn’t meant to do it. 

She lightly touched the area.  It was turning an unhealthy shade.  It was probably going to leave a mark.  “I think I need to get some ice.  Sit down,” she said as she moved towards the mini-bar gathering some and putting it in towel before heading back to where he was. 

“I’ve never hit anyone before,” Aliesa said quietly as she sat next to him and applied the ice pack to the bruise below his eye.  He didn’t speak he just took the ice from her.  Her hands dropped to her side.

“I was just so upset.  You just push all my buttons and you know that and it just added to the fact that we’re going to have to spend all this time together and you’re unhappy and so am I and then Bryan thinks and I couldn’t tell him that we and I couldn’t get a hold of Shannon and we fight and Jeanne said that I have to rehearse in London and she’s so idealistic about making sure we don’t end up like all those other couples and my parents when we get back and we can’t get along and this is it’s just a nightmare…” Aliesa babbled as she crumpled into the couch her hands over her face, tears trickling down, no longer able to hold the emotions in.  She never cried in front of him.  They never talked about their feelings.  Instead of voicing it out loud, they kept it well hidden.  What the whole predicament was doing to them was something they suffered alone, hidden away from the other’s scrutiny.   Aliesa only let her vulnerability seep through then and only then.  But she couldn’t help it now, and at this moment she could care less.
     Shane lifted the ice pack away, listening to Aliesa sob and something inside him clicked.  He  understood.   He reached out to her and took her hand in his.  And even though he’d held it many times before, it wasn’t like when they were out in public and he had to, he did it because he wanted to.  It only took a small moment for the action to be acknolwedged. 
     Aliesa lifted her head up and blinked at him in surprise.  She’d expected him to be cold, to wallow in victory at her emotional breakdown.  But he hadn’t.  And right then and there she discovered that maybe, just maybe, Shane Filan had an ounce of decency after all.
     No words had to be used, everything was understood in the silence that followed that from then on things would be different.  Even with the knowledge that things might not have been as easy as they anticipated, that perhaps they were going to have to stay in misery a little bit longer, it was just a given.  It wasn’t dramatic.  It wasn’t even a minor.  It was just a start. 
     And that night and the next, and the one after that they were polite to each other when they were alone, or at least they tried to.  It wasn’t as if they talked more now.  It wasn’t as if they stopped having arguments.  Though they were far from being friends, they had a mutual understanding of how they could make their situation easier on themselves.  And it was inevitable wasn’t it?  Things continually change, and two pop stars are no exception.  Aliesa Montaine and Shane Filan suddenly became civil to one another. 

Chapter 12
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