Chapter 7: No Use Looking Back

Everybody’s got something, they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There’s no use looking back or wondering
How it could be be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can’t find ways to let you go
                                  ---"Never Had A Dream Come True"- S Club 7
 

Oh God.  This was awkward.

No.  It was…comforting.

Comforting.  Comforting in that sick repulsive way.

This was a hangover.

This was a hangover attached to an arm.  Wait.  An arm? 

Oh it was just JC.  Hold on.  Something was very wrong with this picture. 

Oh God. 

JC!

She sat up and attempted to focus, a hard task when the room was spinning. 

Oh God. 

She looked down at herself and then at the floor. 

Oh God. 

Why was her bra draped over the lamp?  She fell back against the bed.  Thank God.  She was wearing a shirt.  Good.  No.  Wait.  She flew back up.  Her head throbbed with the motion.  When did she get into this shirt?

She took a deep breath.  Nope.  It didn’t help.  She shut her eyes.  Think Aliesa.  Think.  God it hurt to think. Oh God.  The epiphany hit.  Last night. 

Nightmare.  This was a nightmare.  Aliesa gripped her head.  Oh the alcohol.  All that alcohol!  This was some sick trend of hers.    She draped her arm over her eyes as she remembered last night’s events.  Her head tilted to the side.  Mini-bar?  Empty.  Boyband member?   Thrashed.  Hangover?  Oh yeah.  Random embarrassing self-disclosures last night due to drunkenness?  Probably.  It figured.   This was her lot in life.  Yes fate had only one thing in mind when it came to her: Alcohol, and waking up to confusion in a hotel room with JC Chasez. 

“I love you.”

Aliesa sucked in her breath at the sound of his voice.  No way. 

“I love you,” JC repeated as his arm reached out and snaked around Aliesa’s waist.

She froze.  What had happened last night?  Prolific bonding?  Aliesa slowly moved around to face him.  He was asleep.  She exhaled relieved. No need to panic.  It was just incoherent mumbling, listless talking.  He was probably dreaming.  Nothing drastic.  JC let out a small groan beside her, as he shifted again suddenly.  Oh God.  Aliesa met bare skin as he tightened his arm around her, pushing her against him.  Okay.  She took it back.  This was drastic.  They were so close.  She could feel his breath warm against her neck.  Her eyes briefly scanned over his features, unintentionally landing on his lips.  His lips.  She pulled away.  This was way too close for comfort. 
     God her head hurt.  She needed aspirin.  She needed water.  Maybe if she just tried to go back to sleep.  Yes.  Sleep.  She’d wake up and everything would be fine.  This would all be over.  Aliesa shut her eyes tightly, but it wasn’t for long.  Literally moments after her eyes closed, a cell phone rang, the shrill sound making the pounding in her head worse.  Aliesa cringed.  She ignored it, her mind focused on being as far away from this reality as possible.  She just lay there hoping that whoever it was would get the picture and the ringing would just stop.  The cell phone however refused to cooperate with that plan.  It rang again.  Aliesa continued to ignore it.  Her companion couldn’t.  The sound woke JC from his state of slumber.  Unlike Aliesa’s passive reaction to the noise, he reacted.  Flinching and grunting in complaint, his hand reached out blindly scrambling towards the phone.  It took several more rings before he was able to locate it. 

“Hello?” he mumbled roughly as he fumbled with the phone, his eyes shut.

“WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU TWO?”

“What?” JC uttered in response not quite fully awake and functioning.

“You were aware that you were supposed to do promotions this morning and you’re not in your rooms?”

The reaction to the statement was swift.  Panic and confusion hit JC quickly, as did the blood rushing to his head as he jolted upright.  It was a hell of a hangover.  He blinked rapidly trying to gage his surroundings and noticed Aliesa next to him.  The vague memory of their drunken escapades from the night before flashed to mind, before the pain of his actions set in.  The after effects of last night took hold.  Spinning.  Throbbing.  Dry mouth.  He needed a cold shower.  He needed to throw up.  He needed something.

“JC!  Did you hear me?” the phone cackled as he dropped it on the sheets in his attempt to get up.  He wobbled a moment, luckily catching a hold of the edge of the bed stand to steady himself before falling over.  He’d obviously drunk a lot last night.

“JC!” the voice on the line boomed again.  Aliesa could not longer ignore the interruption.  The phone on the bed elicited a response from her tired form.  She eyed it groggily.  The voice emitting from the receiver was all too familiar.  It screamed again.  Recognition happened.  Shannon? 

“Shannon?” she questioned aloud looking up towards JC.  Trying to get a footing on the situation himself, he just motioned unsurely before staggering towards the bathroom.  Aliesa placed her arm over her head in an attempt to steady the dizziness and the nausea that enveloped her.  She patted the bed for the phone with her other hand, numbly reaching for it beneath the sheets. 

“Shannon?” she repeated as she picked it up and pressed it to her ear.

“ALIESA!  WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE HELL YOU ARE?”

“What are you screaming about?” Aliesa answered tiredly as she rubbed her forehead to appease the throbbing sensation.

“YOU AND JC!” Shannon shouted frustrated on the other end.

“I know isn’t it awful?” Aliesa groaned as another sickening wave took hold.  A loud pause followed.  A long vented breath on the other line. 

“This is what I get isn’t it?  I just brought it on myself working for you two!  This is only just my life!  I’m about to have a nervous breakdown over here!  But of course that will have to wait until after you and JC solve your issues…” Shannon ranted calmly.

“I…”

“JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU TWO SORRY EXCUSES FOR POPSTARS ARE?” 

Aliesa winced at the volume.  “Do you have to shout?  My head is throbbing and I feel awful…” 

“ALIESA.  I’m in YOUR room and YOU ARE NOT IN IT…”

*****************************************

     2 aspirins and plenty of glasses of water later JC and Aliesa were back at their hotel and facing Shannon’s wrath.  After the initial confusion, the pair had realized that although they had woken up in a hotel room, it was not the one they had started at.  In fact, upon closer inspection they found that they were across town.  Piecing back the night had been a struggle, and much like their Las Vegas adventure, they couldn’t recall exact details.  But unlike Las Vegas, after some deliberation they could figure out how they had ended up where they had.  Somehow, drinking themselves to a stupor the night before had evolved into a dare to sneak out of the hotel with out security, a karaoke bar, a taxi cab to the wrong hotel, and a check-in under the name Mr. and Mrs. Jack Daniels (a really bad liquor joke).  Details of after the check-in were sketchy at best, and Aliesa only hoped and prayed all they had done when they reached the room was pass out.  She didn’t want to even imagine anything else. 
     And Shannon had been beyond upset.  She was practically hysterical when they had walked in to their real room.  She yelled for Nsync minutes straight and then Jeanne came in and joined her.  She lectured where Shannon left off.  While she put in her “disappointment speech”, Shannon paced back and forth in the room muttering about no access to the mini-bar and why she put up with this behavior.  Security had even been called in to talk on the downsides of impulses and safety.  They’d been sitting there for over an hour now.  And it was back to Shannon.

“What is with you two?  One minute you hate each other so much I had to struggle with you to go to a venue and the next you two are drinking buddies hanging out after hours?  And where were you?  Maybe a karaoke bar?  And checking in at another hotel!  What is going on?…..”

     Aliesa tried to pay attention to Shannon’s complaining at their antics.  But how could she focus on what she was saying when her own mind was racing at the endless possibilities of what exactly had happened last night with JC.  What had she said?  And GOD what had she done?  Her eyes darted next to her where JC was sitting, propped up on the couch.  Typical.  It was too god damn typical.  If she was doubtful and uneasy, he had to be the exact opposite.  He sat there, seemingly calm and collected.  Calm.  How could he be so calm?  She was edgy and he was calm?  He couldn’t be. JC Chasez this smooth and sure?  This was not some TV appearance.  This was real life.  It had to be an act, and a very good one.  She was buying it. 
     His lips turned downward slightly as Shannon continued her speech.  She watched his gaze focus on the floor, his foot taping idly back and forth.  She studied him remembering the morning after Las Vegas.  How they had been in this same predicament.  He had acted the same exact way.  Indifferent.  It was like he was emotionally detached from what was going on.  She wondered if he had thought as much about what had happened in Las Vegas as she had.  She pondered if he regretted it as much.  And why she thought to herself, why had she just repeated the same mistake twice with the same guy?  It was as if she hadn’t learned once.  She should have. 
     The morning after had been traumatic.  She’d almost fainted when she saw the wedding band on her finger, the marriage certificate on a nearby table, and a picture of the two of them in their awards show attire in some shady Chapel of Love rip-off.  She’d cried.  And what had he done?  How did he react?  He walked out the door leaving her there in her tears.  A few hours later they had been in front of Shannon, just like they were now solidifying a plan to salvage everything.  Because they both knew it was a mistake, one with consequences.  So why was she reliving it now?  Why had she joined him in a drinking spree?  What had possessed her rationale?  Could it have been that vacant look in his eye when they were arguing last night?  How he asked her why they had to be this way?  Had she in that brief moment succumbed to a twitch in her heart that said maybe just maybe they could get along just to get along?  They both had been so vulnerable. 
     More visions of the night of the Billboard Music Awards slipped in her thoughts.  She remembered feeling nervous meeting him.  How she had been in awe when he performed.  How she had giggled to Shannon that he was hot.  Aliesa’s eyes widened at her inner thoughts.  She had been attracted to him.  JC’s eyes met hers, as he caught her staring intently in his direction.  A small smile played on his lips…and she found it…NO.  Wait.  The man was in mid-hangover, post hangover!  And what was she doing.  She felt the butterfly in the pit of her stomach.  No!  She was gaping at him!  She was checking him out!  Her cheeks flushed.  She hadn’t!  She hadn’t for a split second thought he was attractive.  Of course not!  NO!  NO!  It was the hangover.  It had to be the hangover.  She couldn’t honestly think that!  Not him!  It was the alcohol!  It was still infecting her mind.  I mean come on JC attractive?  Ha.  Right.  Now that was funny.  A small laugh escaped her lips.  Shannon shot her a sharp warning look.  Aliesa immediately ceased.

“You think this is funny Al?  Here we are salvaging your careers with this preconceived setup because of a drunken spree and you two are still at it!  How is this situation at all funny?  Do you know what I’m going to have to deal with if you guys did something high profile last night?” Shannon said pointedly flustered.  “And do you know what everyone went through trying to even find you?  I mean what could have happened!”

Aliesa bit down on her lip.  Her fingers lightly ran over the cloth of the couch.  “Shan I’m…”

“No don’t say it!  Neither of you say it!  Don’t even attempt to apologize!  I don’t want to hear it.  We simply don’t have time.  We’re backed up.  We’re moving on,” Shannon sighed as she crossed the room and picked up a folder.  “I got a call today from your management JC.  You’re due in Europe to meet up with the group.  Your flight leaves tomorrow afternoon”, she said tilting her head in his direction.  “And you’re going with him,” Shannon added pointing the folder towards Aliesa.

“What?”  Aliesa reacted instantly at the statement.  She gripped the couch.  “I mean…No.  Shannon.  NO WAY!  It was one week.  One week to prove it to the press.  You said…”

“You’re not touring Aliesa,” Shannon contested.

“I’m supposed to be here promoting the album,”Aliesa rebutted.

“You can conduct interviews abroad, and besides you’re due to be in Europe anyway,” Shannon continued ignoring Aliesa’s pleas of protest as she opened the folder and produced two sheets of paper.  “This is what we’re looking at…”, she said as she handed over the proposed schedule.  The two popstars stared hard at the sheet in front of them.

“A MONTH!”, both cried out simultaneously as they scanned the page. 

Aliesa slammed the paper against the couch, a look of disdain apparent on her delicate features.

“A month?  She’s going to be traveling with me for a month?” JC blurted, eyebrows raised.

“Exactly!” Aliesa agreed for once with JC.   “I can’t be abroad for this long!  I have commitments here…How could Jeanne have agreed to this?”

“Well it’s simple.  Jeanne felt guilty that you two never had a real honeymoon. She’d been planning to juggle around some dates for you to coincide JC’s as a sort of wedding present.  She figured you needed some time together and last night’s disappearance not only proved it to her, but cemented the idea that it would be the right decision to do it as soon as possible.  So she cleared your entire schedule this morning and if you ask me I’m glad she did,” Shannon answered.  “Not only is this damage control, but face it you two- we have to milk this publicity for all its worth.   We need more than just a week of reassurances to the press.    People have to see you two together.  There can’t be any denials about the pretenses of why you both got married.”

“But Shannon…”

“No buts Aliesa.  JC has a multitude of high profile commitments the next month, including one with MTV Europe.  Nsync are being honored with a major award at their awards show and you need to be present as a supporting wife,”,Shannon cut-off Aliesa, shrugging. 

“I’m sure that JC here…”, Aliesa began turning to her companion, patting his hand enthusiastically, trying to think of anything to get her out of this.   “That JC here disagrees with that angle.  They have an album coming out.  My presence would probably aggravate some die-hard fans…You know deter album sales.  And besides the other guys… their significant others probably won’t be at this MTV thing so it’s not like people would talk and…”

“Actually I think it would be great if you came along,” JC countered.

Aliesa’s jaw dropped as she internalized his words.  Her face contorted with a mixture of confusion and skepticism.  He was up to something.

“Shannon’s right we’re going to have to prove it to the press and to the people around us.  We should do it sooner than later.” 

“Well I’m glad you agree JC,” Shannon said dryly watching the two of them exchange less than loving looks.  “Now all we have to do is make sure the two of you solidify this.  You’ll need to know everything about one another.  And I’m sure you two are creative enough to come up with some worthy stories to tell the press about how you two started dating.  I’m going to leave you to the details on this one,” she mused as she headed towards the door.  “I’m off to try to fix any news that might have leaked about your gallivanting last night.”  Shannon turned back before heading out.  “Try to play nice while I’m away,” she added in afterthought.

The door shut behind her.  And Aliesa fought the urge to kill JC with her bare hands.

“Great.  Just great!  Happy with yourself?” Aliesa muttered narrowing her eyes at JC.  She motioned to get up, but JC’s arm flew out trapping her against the side of the couch before she could.  She found two piercing eyes staring down at her, gaze unwavering as if he could find some sort of answer there.  And when he found he couldn’t, they moved downward scanning over her face, landing on her lips.  Unconsciously she licked them, knowing he was following the path of her tongue.  He looked up sharply. His eyes twinkled knowingly.  He was so close.  Her pulse quickened as his breath grazed her ear. 

“Looks like you’re going to choke there Ali,” he whispered before getting up and leaving her there her heart beating madly.

Asshole.

Chapter 7
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