I ask you. What is so wrong with trying to hook up two of your friends? Nothing right? I’m being helpful. I’m being considerate. Then why is he having such a cow? Scratch that. Why is he having a temper tantrum? Throwing a hissy fit that could only be equaled by a temperamental five year old? What’s the big deal? Why can’t he just agree to it? I suppose I could be more understanding. But damn it! He knows her! He flirted with her BEFORE I brought up the fact that I could hook him up. So he’s not that big on being set up. Fine. He’s not big on blind dates. Fine. But I know and he knows he needs to move on. But how can he if he refuses to date? I could understand if she was horrible! But she’s not. Hell. If I were a guy I’d date her! What’s the big deal here? It’s totally innocent. I’m not asking him to marry her! One. Stupid. Date. A chance. That’s all. Nothing major. Right? “Don’t lose a lung over this. It’s just one date.” He gave me an incredulous look. “I didn’t ask you to get me a date.” “Oh sorry I forgot you’re doing so well on your own.” I rolled my eyes. And we hit a momentary bout of silence. Okay maybe that was a bit harsh. His voice is quiet. “I’m doing fine.” “Fine? You call not seeing anyone since HER fine?” I made sure I emphasized that last part. Let’s not give a name to the she-devil that was his ex-girlfriend. It is now so obvious that she’s ruined it for all other women that will come into his life. He can’t even go on a freaking date. He’s running his fingers through his hair now, probably to stop himself from screaming at me again. Blank expression on his face tells me NOW I’m in for it. 5...4...3...2...1 “I. Don’t. Need. Help. The first time was enough.” Oh here we go. I knew this was coming. Of course! Blame me for the fact you and the she-devil even met. How was I supposed to know that it would all go to hell! So I introduced you. I never set you up! I never told you to date her! Do not even attempt to lay the fact you guys couldn’t cut it on me! I am not going to feel guilty. I am not going to feel guilty. “Well excuse me for caring then! I thought I was being a good friend. But obviously I’m not. Obviously I’m a crappy friend.” He’s giving me that forlorn and weary expression to make me feel bad for him. But I refuse to give into this so-called pathetic wallowing. “You know you’re not.” Not falling for that voice of reason either. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Not falling for the almost apology buster. “You know I think you’re the best… just…why is this so hard?” You’re asking me. “I’m not interested in her okay.” Lame excuse. So it is now time to mention the obvious. “How do you know? You won’t even give her a chance.” All looks to get me to pity him have now been replaced by that blank expression again. “I won’t be.” I let out a huge over dramatic sigh. His eyes show signs of giving in. “Will you just try? For me?” I have now brought on the guilt trip, using our friendship as a basis to get my way, the classic last resort plan for the desperate. “I can’t date her.” Forget guilt trip. Time to whine. “Yes you can.” “You know that song by Usher…You Make Me Wanna?” Which obviously has not made an impact as THAT comes out of nowhere. “Yeah…” “You know how the song is about a guy who is having thoughts about getting together with the girl that set him up with his girlfriend? He realizes that maybe he should have gotten with her instead. He loves his girlfriend but he keeps thinking about the girl that got them together and he knows that she knows that it should have been her instead of her friend? He’s looking at me now. REALLY looking at me. And it’s making me a little bit self-conscious here. “Uh-huh…” Where is this going exactly? He stops looking at me and finds some interesting spot on his shirt to stare at. “itslikemeandyouintheendIwon'tandcan'tstopthinkingaboutyou.” Did that just come out in one breath? “Excuse me?” I manage as I try to digest that bit of info. That spot on his shirt isn’t so interesting anymore. “I have feelings for you and it isn’t the friend type.” And suddenly he’s blunt. “I like you. LIKE you like you.” And he doesn’t beat around the bush either. My voice comes out like a squeak right then. “Are…You…Me…” And yes everyone I have forgotten to speak. He’s smiling a little now. “I haven’t dated anyone because I don’t want to date anyone else but you.” It’s official. My jaw will no longer be able to shut after this one. “But…” And yes I haven’t quite recovered. “No buts. You.” “But…” “Just you.” “Me?” And I finally find some other word. “Me?” But it looks like I can’t stop myself from repeating. “You and me.” And he’s holding my hand. And I don’t seem to be letting go. “I take it back. If I were a guy I wouldn’t date her.” His nose crinkles and he looks lost for a minute. And that’s the point I smile. And I’m retracting everything that I previously thought. “Don’t ask. Just kiss me.” And he does.
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