|
By: Soxy He sat back on the snowmobile and just looked at her for a moment. He smiled when he answered, “Michelle, you’re my muse.” Now, she seriously had no idea what he was talking about. “When we first met, I thought you were a good-looking chick with an attitude. That time we met at the awards, I saw something in you I missed the first two times. I finally looked into those eyes of yours, and I saw someone who understood me in a way no one else had before. We never had the chance because of circumstances to see if that spark that happened that night meant anything.” She walked over to him and let her hip lean against the snow mobile. “There are times when I wonder too.” He wrapped an arm around her and they stood there quietly again with one another. She gazed out at the snow filled land and let his words seep in. She started to say something the moment he did, but waved him to continue his thoughts. She knew him well enough that he was battling for words. And seeing THE Justin Timberlake fight for the right words didn’t happen often, if ever. “So I kind of put you on a pedestal when it came to well anything about the women in my life. I played the ‘what if’ we got together game and I guess in doing that I made you out to be perfect. In making you perfect…well the women around me know I feel that way about you and it’s hard to deal with the news that rumor has it we have something going on.” “But Justin, the what if, it’s not going to happen and you know damn well I’m the furthest thing from perfect. Hell, if we were to even try and date one another we would hate it. You’re Southern fried chicken and I’m New England clam chowder- those two while taste fabulous on their own, are not a dinner course that belongs together.” He tilted his head and looked at her like she’d grown a second head before bursting into laughter. “That is the most fucked up analogy ever. Seriously, that itself turns me off.” She pushed away from his embrace and turned to face him. “J, there is no girl in the whole world who wants to feel like she’s not the only person in her man’s world. You can’t put me in a place where A, I don’t belong and B, somewhere that’s obvious and that could hurt someone who loves you.” “Mike, Cam and Brit, these are gorgeous girls who have the world going for them.” Typical male, he didn’t understand. “Justin, every girl feels insecure at some point in her life. Every girl will wonder if she’s enough. Hell, I haven’t been enough in many situations. We’re a crazy group. We’ll stare in front of the mirror and look for flaws. You guys look and say, ‘damn, nice hat’. We look and say ‘damn my ass looks fat, my neck is fat, my stomach looks chubby, my hair is all wrong.’ We are our worst critics. On top of that, you males make it known the girls you want are a size 2, no brains, and will follow you like a puppy. There are us girls who hate that stereotype. There are girls who will purposefully starve themselves because all of these celebrities look like a million bucks. There are girls who will purposefully act dumb so I guy won’t know how truly intelligent she is. There are girls who will actually be submissive, even when it’s not best for them in a situation. The bitch of fame is trying to create this perfect picture. Justin, it wouldn’t matter if you were dating Gisele, every girl gets jealous. Add on top of that you’ve told those beautiful girls that you put me on a pedestal. Save it for your momma or grandmamma.” He laughed by the time she got everything out. “You definitely are the fucked up gender. I know what you’re saying. I understand what I’m saying is crazy as hell too. It’s just…” he stopped mid sentence. He reached out and brushed her cheek softly with his fingers. “You know, lets just drop it. What are we going to do about your current situation?” Closing her eyes to his touch, she brushed her lips across the back of his hand. “J, a part of me will always be yours. Ever since that night, I’ve loved you with my whole soul.” He nodded and with laughter in his eyes, trying to avoid his own sticky situation he said, “So, about Jacksonville.” “What?” “Or was his name Tampa?” Rolling her eyes she stepped into his embrace. “I don’t know what to do, J.” “Be honest with yourself. With me. How do you feel about him?” She bit her lip and rested her forehead on his shoulder. It was so easy to be with Justin. To just be herself and let her thoughts tumble around her. Mumbling into his jacket she said, “Is it possible to feel like you’ve fallen for someone you barely know?” His hands ran up and down her back. “Yes, it’s definitely possible to be attracted and to fall. Sometimes it’s too easy. You have to let me know if he’s what you want. Is he?” “I’m not sure. I mean, he’s taken. He’s far too good looking. And, if I were truly honest, I’m too damn afraid of getting burned again. I can’t run for the cute guy knowing at the end I’ll end up bruised.” He placed a kiss on her temple and whispered, “Sometimes the risk means falling and sometimes it means a happiness like you’ve never known. Could you live with yourself if you had to let him go and never knew what that spark really was? I have a hard time myself.” The last sentence was barely whispered and she didn’t pick it up. She did, however, feel his heart pounding against her ear. Could she live with never knowing? ~*~ She knocked on the door and stepped back, waiting. A million words rushed through her head. What were the right words in this situation? But, most importantly, was she making the right decision? The door opened and all the air felt like it had been sucked from her lungs, so much so she felt dizzy. Apparently, she had stressed a decision she didn’t need to make. It had been made for her. “Hey Mike,” Kate said softly, the only clothing the beautiful blonde donned to answer the door was a towel. Words fought to be released but her lips stuttered and nothing came out. “How are you doing? I saw the reports, you poor thing, did you want to come in?” Her gentle words did nothing to wake Mike from her stupor. Oh, she had been a stupid girl. She had let herself believe she was worth leaving everything beautiful for. She had once again believed the cute boy in class would take the band geek instead of the head cheerleader. Hadn’t she learned her lesson? “Um, no. I just…” She fought for words. “I wanted to invite you and O to dinner tonight. Justin and I are heading out tomorrow morning. I’m gonna head up to Vancouver with him and I wanted to see you all before I left.” Kate smiled genuinely, “I’ll ask Orlando. I don’t know if he wants to leave the room.” She had the grace to blush. Mike bit her lip and nodded. “Well, if I don’t see you, it was a pleasure meeting you.” She turned quickly and did her best to walk as quickly and gracefully as she could. Which of course was hard when your head was spinning, your heart felt mysteriously crushed, and your legs were frantically trying to get you out of a bad situation as soon as possible. Sometimes, fate gave you the answers you didn’t want to hear. Sometimes, cupid shot ya in the ass and forgot to check the logistics. It seemed always, Mike was the nice guy and she was constantly finishing last. As she got to her room, she slid the key and as soon as the door opened strong arms wrapped around her. Sometimes, friends were the only salve for a broken heart. Chapter
19 |