Okay
By: Jess
*Written for Solace fan fiction challenge #5* 

I blinked, stunned, letting the words settle a little, and then did what any normal girl would do if faced with the predicament of Nick Carter asking her to marry him…

I said no. 

It was so quiet after that.  So very silent and still, enough that I could hear, and not just feel the warm spring breeze flittering by us.  His fingers dropped from mine, and I watched as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” I repeated soundly. 

He nodded his head slowly to the statement, “Okay.”

My face scrunched up.  I hadn't expected that.  “It's okay?” 

“It’s okay,” he echoed listlessly.  And then he just…smiled.

Not the usual “you can’t deny me”, not the “you can’t hate me for what I’ve done”, not the “I can read what you’re thinking”, not the “this will get me out of this mess”, not the “I know you” kind of smile.  It was just a smile.  And I had no idea what kind of emotion was laced beneath it, and the thought that I had no clue…well it scared the living daylights out of me.

My heart felt like it would beat right out of my chest.  What kind of a reaction was that?  Was he insane?  This was insane.  He was insane.  Whole reason why, that between the two of us, I was the one who proceeded to freak out. 

My mouth opened.  It shut.  It opened.  Hell, I gaped. 

“What!”  I jumped to my feet, the same time he did, darting back and forth, making a well-worn trail from where he stood, to the lounge chair that I had been sitting in moments before, as I proceeded to make my point.  “It’s okay?” I ranted.  “It’s okay!” I stared at him accusingly.  “How can you think it’s okay?” 

His eyebrow rose in question and he opened his mouth to reply.  But I shot him another glare before he could form any words.  His mouth instantly closed.

“That’s right!  You can't!” I disputed, before continuing on my tirade, pointing at him and I, “I know that you know that I know that this whole thing is not okay!”  My hands went up and down as I continued to rave about how it was not okay and he was crazy to think that it was.  “It is so not,” I said pointedly, stopping mid pace, a hand on my hip, and a finger accusingly smack dab in the middle of his chest. “O-K-A-Y.”

“Alright,” he said hesitantly.  “Maybe its not.” 

My voice, I think, went up an octave.  “Maybe?” 

His hand clasped around the finger that was still digging into his skin.  “Did anyone ever tell you that you think too much?”

I glared and ignored the statement.  “Admit that it is not the hell okay!”  I demanded, removing my hand from his, and began pacing again. 

Of course he didn’t.  He just stood there watching me, his eyes trailing me as I continued to pace back and forth, and I swear he was trying to fight back a smirk at the fact I had lost my cool. 

“And stop acting like it is!”  I cried out just for good measure before I sulked back into that chair and brooded. 

“You done?” he asked me calmly.

Calmly?  What in the hell?   This was just not making any sense! I was supposed to be the calm and collected one.  He was supposed to be the hysterical one, right? 

I crossed my legs and leaned my head back in response, biting my lip.  “You’re supposed to be upset!  You could at least be a little heartbroken you know!”

“Who says I’m not?” he challenged. 

I frowned.  “You’re supposed to be pleading with me!  Professing everlasting love, begging even!  I mean…something Nick!” 

He sank down to his knees beside me, so we were level, and smiled at me.  Smiled!   Smiling that stupid smile from before! 

“Okay.”

Here we go again…

“Nick…” I cautioned jadedly. 

He laughed.  A kinda nervous laugh.  Actually come to think of it, more than nervous.  And then he just stopped laughing, his blue eyes wide, gazing at me expectantly.  He looked so serious. 

“Do you love me?”

Fuck.  Calm, serious, and rational?

My eyes darted to that ring, still in his hand, before meeting his gaze wearily.   My stomach dropped, for the second time in a minute.   “Do I love you?”  I echoed.

He pressed his forehead against mine, saying it again.  “Do you love me?” 

He knew I did.  Hell, he knew I did even before I knew I did.  I mean come on!  He’d been the one trying to deny the whole thing in the first place.  “Nick, don’t be stupid you know I do,” I answered softly.

He tugged on my fingers, smiling so sweetly,  “So then...”

I glanced at that ring again, that huge, flashing, bright, diamond.  The thing was like a large lit neon sign against an ebony sky.  It just taunted me.   Didn’t he understand?

Him?  Me? Forever?  For God’s sake he was Mr. Commitmentphobic!  I mean, didn’t he realize how long it took for him to actually commit to the idea of just dating me?  Long!  And add how long it took for me to convince him to even think about us dating? Longer than that long!  What was going on? 

Maybe… 

“Have you been drinking?”

He looked a little taken aback at that.  “You think I’m drunk?” 

“You’re telling me you’re sober?” I scoffed, quickly swallowing back the anxiety when he raised an eyebrow. 

Fuck.   He  was sober.

Oh God.  I didn’t know what to say.  Actually, scratch that.  I did.  That first time he asked, my mind had processed it all as unbelievable.  But now…now it was processing definite comprehension.

“You’re talking about forever with me Nick,” I said cautiously, still trying to get over the fact that this was really happening… really happening.  “Forever is a long time…” 

“Nah,” he disagreed.  I felt his fingers brush against my hair, skimming against my cheek.  “It’s not nearly long enough.  Not for us.” 

He wasn't serious? “Nick…”

“Just say yes,” he murmured, cutting me off, his eyes staring straight into mine.  “Marry me.” 

Fuck.  He was serious. 

“Me?”  I recanted in disbelief, my eyes dropping their contact with his.  I could feel his hand trembling in mine, or was it the other way around? 

“Yeah, you.”  Nick’s voice was hoarse now, pleading, as he drew me closer to him, kissing me gently. “Say yes baby,” he whispered against my lips.  “You know you want to.” 

I lifted my gaze up, searching his.

It was crazy.

He was crazy.

This was crazy.

So I stumbled forth and did what any other girl would do if faced with the predicament of Nick Carter asking her to marry him, not once, but twice in one day, and answered... 

“Okay.”

I looked on as the corners of his mouth lifted up, ever so slow,  realizing what that damn smile of his meant as he slipped that ring on my finger.

“Okay.”

I smiled back.  Maybe he wasn’t insane after all.