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By: Jess
I stared at the door. I was crazy. I mean it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Impulsively driving over to Nick’s…but upon second glance, this kinda seemed completely irrational. Then again, had I ever been rational when it came to Nick Carter? My stomach lurched. Okay, so maybe… I eyed his doorbell, and then the knocker. I wanted to… But my heart was beating way too fast to be healthy. So maybe coming over here was a bad idea? I silently cursed AJ for putting the idea in my head in the first place. Then I silently cursed Hannah for agreeing with him when I had called her on the drive over for reassurance. And after that I silently cursed myself for silently cursing. I was being ridiculous. But GOD it had all seemed so much easier in my head… “Lana?” Startled by the abrupt greeting, I stumbled… “Ow!” …And smack dab into Nick Carter. Quickly reaching out, to keep my balance, I clutched onto his shirt
to steady myself.
Obviously, we landed a jumbled mess. On impact, I found myself with my back pressed against the front door and Nick pressed right up against me, the wind completely knocked out of us, both gulping for air. Suffice it to say, if my heart had been beating fast before, it was beating like nothing else now. Blue eyes wide, chest heaving, Nick took a moment and peered down at me, “Hi.” I inhaled. We were so up close and personal, I could feel his breath on my cheek. “Hey,” I replied. Nick smiled. Of all the times I had ever practiced that stupid salutation, of course, it would be now, that it sounded perfect. Go figure… Lifting my chin, I stared at him. “So umm…” Nick eyed the doorframe behind me. “Uh yeah…” We attempted to straighten up. But it was an attempt destined to fail, as we were both still so obviously entwined. The motion pitched us down, and I had to grip his shoulders so we wouldn’t fall over completely. Nick mumbled a quick sorry, as he finally found some balance, by planting his fingers on my lower back. “You alright?” he queried. I nodded, unable to do much else. He swallowed. “Maybe I should just— ” His head tilted trying to
access the situation.
Composing a breath, I clutched at him a little tighter, getting my baring. “It’s okay.” Firmly placing one hand against the door by my waist, he steadied the two of us. And still pressed up against his front door like the idiot I was, forgoing our current positioning, I asked the obvious, “Have you been out here, the entire time?” Nick shook his head. “I’ve been at your house,” he exhaled slowly. “I just got here a minute ago and saw you at the door.” I blinked, puzzled. “My house?” “After you left Hannah’s, I drove over to wait for you,” he explained, if only a little hesitant. “I just—I needed to try apologizing again, you know – without fucking it up. I didn’t want you to think that I– ” Biting the corner of his mouth, Nick’s gaze wavered slightly. “I had this speech planned and everything,” he confessed timidly, releasing his lower lip. “I even brought flowers.” Did he say flowers? He sighed. “I thought I could just- I don’t know…I hoped—” Nick watched my face closely. “…You know…” he finished, voice quiet. “Maybe?” Maybe? It took all of a second to process his words and when I did, my heart dropped to my feet. Poof. Nick. Had. Waited. For. Me. Heart. Plummet. Okay, yeah, sure, I would have been seriously lying if I didn’t admit that yes, I melted at the idea he’d gotten me flowers too. I can admit that I can be just as materialistic as the next girl and the flower thing was definite brownie points, but the idea that he’d attempted to go for a second round with me despite my earlier unwillingness to communicate or cooperate? And that not only that but he had waited, at my house, for me? That was it. And suddenly it was like… Why was I mad again? Because I’d only been waiting since I was sixteen years old to get this stupid boy to notice I was alive. And he finally had. And now he was the one waiting for me. Kinda…except… “What are you doing here then?” I observed. Nick suddenly looked sheepish. “AJ called me.” “Figures,” I said dryly. Set-up twice in one day… “But what about you?” Nick asked, blue eyes locked steadily into mine. “Why were you at my front door?” Why was I at the door? I leaned back against the wood, wondering if I really was crazy. And taking a deep breath I remembered why I was cutting this boy some slack. ‘Cause I ignored you too… I tried to make you jealous too… I played games too… Because Nick, I was waiting too… “Lana?” I met his gaze. Like I said earlier, I was never rational when it came to Nick Carter. But maybe now was a good time to start?
26.
Justify Your Actions
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