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21. Ignoring The Problem Won't Make It Disappear By: Jess
I was officially over it. … Alright, maybe that was a stretch. I was officially trying to be over it. And, yeah, as it were, incidentally, that wasn’t working either. But damn if pretending wasn’t. It’d been two days since the whole incident that had gone down in Orlando. And that had been more than enough time to a) wallow and/or b) breakdown. But I hadn’t done either. Because I’d never been this upset in my whole life. Which is why I couldn’t officially be over it. You’d be surprised how introspective you can get when you’ve had time to mull things over. And that was the problem. I didn’t want to think about it. Thinking meant dealing. And I didn’t want to deal. So I did the next best thing, I avoided. I was real good at that. “Lana?” I plopped a pillow over my head, to drown out the knocking. “Lana?” I pressed the pillow harder against my ears, and eventually it was quiet. Then I felt the bed dip. He was such an asshole… “Go away.” “C’mon Lana.” “Go away.” “I brought you some chocolate covered gummi bears.” He did? I contemplated. Then thought better of it. “Go away,” I repeated louder. The pillow lifted above my face. I scowled. “How’d you get in my room?” My brother lifted a credit card, then grinned smugly. “For everything else there’s Mastercard…” I glared. Brent dangled the bag of chocolate covered gummi bears he’d propositioned earlier in front of me. “Peace offering.” More like ulterior motive…“What do you want?” My brother stopped shaking the bag. “No need to be moody.” “You broke into my room.” “You wouldn’t open the door,” Brent defended the action. “Maybe because I wanted to be left alone?” My brother ignored that. “You’re freaking out your friends you know.” I sighed. “Hannah’s been by. For some reason she thinks you’re not home.” “And?” “AJ stopped by, same thing, and that was just today, we’re not even talking about yesterday.” “So?” “Nick called me.” There was a lull. “He probably would have come by too, but he doesn’t think you’d see him.” Well, shit. “Go away Brent.” “He told me what happened.” I did not need my brother defending Nick. It was the last thing I needed right now. “Go away Brent.” “I told him I was going to kick his ass.” I gawked disbelievingly. My brother picked me over Nick? “…You did?” I choked out, surprise, I’m sure written all over my face. My brother nodded solemnly, “Nick may be my oldest friend, my best friend,” he said slowly. “But you’re my little sister, Lana.” I blinked. Sometimes my brother can amaze me…“You really told Nick you were going to kick his ass?” I asked, still a little blown away at the idea. “Yeah, but I knew you’d want first dibbs, so…” Brent acknowledged, then shrugged. I smiled. The first one I’d allowed myself since the night in Orlando. My brother smiled tentatively back at me. “Just, like, don’t be too hard on him okay,” he quickly broke in before I could say anything about it, waving off the sentimentality of the moment. “I know it was a shitty thing to do. And I’m not sayin’ what he did was right.” Brent scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Just, that, he didn’t mean to be a jerk, you know?” “He just is one?” I supplied. “He just wasn’t thinking,” Brent corrected, disregarding the jab. “No, he just doesn’t care.” It was the one thing I was sure of right now in my mixed up mind. And that hurt more than anything, the realization. That in all the years I’d been hoping he’d notice, he had, but he just hadn’t cared. My brother frowned. “I wouldn’t say that,” he muttered cryptically. My eyebrows furrowed. “So you going to eat these gummi bears?” Brent questioned, poking at the bag he brought, already undoing the plastic. “‘Cause if you’re not then I’m gonna.” I rolled my eyes. Like I said my brother amazed me… but only sometimes. 22.
Thank God For Friends
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