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By: Calliope “…and then she, like, told me that I could get it for ten dollars off because they were having a ten-dollars-off sale and I was SO happy! Is that not the greatest?” I clenched my teeth and offered what I hoped looked like a convincingly sincere smile. Using the arm around my shoulder, AJ gave me a little squeeze of reassurance. “That’s fabulous, babe.” He made a big show of stretching. “Tell ya what, kids…I’m gonna go have a smoke.” He glanced pointedly in my direction, attempting to stifle what was obviously a smirk. “Lana, you wanna join me?” “Sure thing.” Was he kidding? I couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough. I practically sprang out of my seat and marched out of the pizzeria with AJ hot on my heels. I didn’t even dare to lose the smile until the door to the restaurant slammed behind me. Suddenly, AJ’s hands were on my shoulders, warm and welcome against the slight evening breeze. “Take a deep breath, babe.” When I finally calmed down enough to speak, my tone was indignant. “What makes you think I need a deep breath?” AJ’s raspy laugh filled my ears, and for a brief moment, I wondered why I was so hung up on Blondie when one of the sexiest men in the world was attracted to me. “Are you kidding? Another minute with that airhead, and you would’ve planted those nicely-manicured nails of yours right into her forearm just to shut her up.” “Really? That’s funny, because I was thinking I’d rather aim for her neck.” “Even more reason for the deep breath. Come on. I know you can do it…” Despite AJ’s taunting, I allowed my lungs to fill with air for a moment before releasing the breath slowly. My shoulders immediately sank into a more relaxed position, and I had to smile at AJ’s arched eyebrows. “Did it help?” “Yeah.” “So I was right, then.” “Maybe a little…” “Women.” He rolled his eyes to emphasize his aggravation, but he was smiling as he did so. “Look, I know she’s a little dim-witted, and I know it’s kinda hard to keep from making fun of her…” I interrupted him with a whirl of my heel. “Kinda hard? Are you serious?! AJ, I could’ve suffocated on all of the sarcastic comments I’ve had to swallow tonight. She’s so stupid that I can feel my own brain cells dying every time she opens her mouth.” He winced. “Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” “No! I can’t afford to lose brain cells, dammit. I have to write a thesis next year. I need all the brain cells I can get!” He looked at me expectantly, trying to stifle his smile. “Are you sure you’re not overreacting just because she’s dating Nick?” I threw him a look of complete and total disbelief. “I can do you one better. I’m fucking positive. Come on, AJ…even you have to admit that the girl’s an idiot. She hasn’t said one intelligent thing since we sat down. Nick or no Nick, the girl holds up her end of the conversation about as well as a midget would hold up a sumo wrestler.” He threw his head back and laughed heartily, pulling me to his chest in a hug. “Oh, Lana…what are we going to do with you?” “The better question might be what we’re going to do to you,” I muttered. “Remind me one more time why you talked me into another date with the couple from hell? I mean, as though he isn’t blonde enough already, he has to go and date someone who was dropped so hard on her head as a child that her brain fell out.” That was the plan. In order to embrace AJ’s surefire “I don’t give a shit” attitude, we had scheduled another double date with Nick and his bimbo du jour. I was doing a good job of pretending to be smitten with AJ and an even better job of ignoring Nick, but…well, I was totally sucking at ignoring Stephanie. Every time she opened her mouth, AJ would have to give me a warning look. One too many sarcastic comments, and I’d look like a bitch. Forget the fact that I already felt like one… AJ rested his chin on the top of my head. “I think someone needs another deep breath…” I obliged, relaxing slightly into his warm embrace. “You’d better be glad I like you, McLean.” “Like? Like?” He whirled me around and feigned shock. “What is this ‘like’ you speak of? You know, most girls say that they love me…” “Really? And how old are they, AJ?” He groaned. “You’re so mean to me. I don’t know why I agreed to help you.” “Because you think I’m cute.” “Agreed.” He laughed lightly. “And if, for some strange reason, I can’t keep you from going at Stephanie tonight, I really will enjoy watching you kick her ass.” We began to walk back into the restaurant, arm-in-arm, as I responded. “Don’t tempt me, J. The only thing standing between her and me is…” “Sorry that took so long!” AJ fluted with a grin. “Couple time, you know how it is…” I laughed lightly as he winked at me, smacking his arm lightly for good measure. “Stop it.” He fluttered his way-too-beautiful eyelashes at me. “You know you love me.” I allowed a small smile. Much as I tried to deny it, he really was growing on me. “Yeah, yeah…” We continued to bicker back and forth for a minute, both for Nick’s amusement and for our own. Hey, if anything else, it kept freaking Stephanie from talking. “You know, I can honestly say that I introduced you two. Maybe I have a career in matchmaking yet.” AJ and I looked up in unison. Nick looked anything but amused. Interesting… “Aww, but Nicky, why would you want to make matches? You’re so good at being a Backstreet Boy, and matches are so boring…” I rolled my eyes. Enough is enough, dammit. “Maybe he likes playing with fire.” She looked at Nick with wide eyes. “Do you? ‘Cause fire is dangerous. You could get burned.” “Yeah, you could,” Nick replied, but he wasn’t looking at Stephanie that time. He was looking at me. 17.
Communicate Clearly
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