She looked at her reflection in the mirror and couldn’t miss the tremble in her hands as she fixed her hair. This was her day to shine and dammit she would. This was the first day of the rest of her life. But she was petrified of what the rest of her life would bring he. She already had so many emotional scars from the life she'd lead up till this day. They always said it got better with time, but for her it just ached more. He lay in his bed his mind racing a hundred miles and hour thoughts of her flowing through his veins. When did she overtake him this way? He rolled to his side and cringed when he saw the woman next to him. She wasn’t the one he loved. She wasn’t even the one he wanted. When did his life become full of questions and mimic the cheesy soap opera’s she used to watch? “You’ll be fine Tammerz, you ask me you have one hell of a guy there” the brunette behind her said, with a large smile. “I know I do." She paused, looking at the reflection. She looked beautiful. More beautiful than she remembered herself to be. "But, God, Vaughn it’s the rest of my life” Tammy said running a hand over her dress. Weren't you supposed to enter marriage looking forward to tomorrow. Knowing that tomorrow would be ok, because the groom would be there? “The rest of your life with a man who adores the ground you walk on” Vaughn corrected pulling Tammy’s hands away from straightening her dress for the millionth time. "You look beautiful and that handsome man you're marrying is gonna be breathless. He's all we ever said we wanted in a guy." “I know but it’s still weird. I mean Vaughn do ever think.. that maybe..” Tammy started with a tone her friend knew all to well. “Don’t start," the brunette looked to the ceiling and then back at her, through the mirror. "It's not worth killing yourself over that piece of nothing. It's over. It's the past, taking this step, with the guy standing at the altar is letting go of the pain.” She rested a hand on her friends shoulder. "He's the one, Tam. Not the asshole who broke you're heart." “He’s one of your best friends,” Tammy said with an eyebrow raised. It had been hard enough when that 'asshole' had broken her heart, but he was best friends with her best friend. The connection was there and it hurt, it burned, it sucked. “Doesn’t make him any less trash for what he did Tam. I mean, yeah I
love him, but your my BEST friend. I could find another him. I can’t
find another you. I guess what I’m trying to say is, what he was to you
was replaceable, what you have, right now, is remarkably irreplaceable.
Don’t doubt your heart, and remember pre-wedding jitters can make you delusional,”
Vaughn said with a small chuckle at the end. The look of uncertainity on
her friends face was litterally breaking her heart.
“Hey remember when your husband-to-be went to the Jacuzzi that night in Dallas thinking you were there and got all naked,” Vaughn reminiced with a laugh. It was a memory her and Tam had laughed over numerous times. “And it turned out to be Dork,” Tammy said joining in the laughter, but soon narrowed her eyes. “Vaughn did you send dork down there that night?” The brunette only shrugged which caused to Tammy to erupt in a laughter so fierce her body shook and tears trickled down her face remembering the faces of the two innocent men when Vaughn came out with the camera. “God Vaughn don’t do that my make-up will look like crap,” Tammy scolded softly. “Since when did you care if your make-up looked good? I mean come on if he’s gonna spend eternity with you and he hasn’t see ya with out make up on your sooo screwed,” Vaughn said with a giggle. She stuck her tongue out, in her usual two year-old teasing. “Shut up you... or I’ll make sure you spend the whole night with the you-know-who,” Tammy threatened. A smile softening her features as she watched her friend's face pale at the thought. “You so would not,” Vaughn responded, eyes wide. “Oh, you know I sooo would. Can you imagine that, a full almost six hours with the boy,” Tammy said laughing at the idea. Just to see the look on Vaughn's face was enough for her. “Please God no, not that! I can’t handle him for more than five seconds let alone a night, a whole night. I mean, as maid of honor I want to enjoy the night! Wait," Vaughn's blue eyes slowly narrowed in thought, "Isn’t silicone valley with him?” she asked plopping down on one of the plush chairs. “Vaughn you know they broke up ages ago, he’s a single man now, ya excited yet?” Tammy teased laughing while her friend cringed at the thought. “So much for wishful thinking. I still can’t believe he’s in the wedding party. What were you thinking?" A small shrug of her shoulders and she finished with "at least he doesn’t have to walk down with me.” “Hey now, we could have that changed” “No, no I like who I am walking down with just fine,” Vaughn said crossing her legs and shaking her head. “Isn’t weird like six years ago we were...well they were just thoughts, too big to be reality and now…..” Tam drifted off. “Now, we know them personally,” Vaughn finished. “I still think about the beginning, how right things were,” Tammy’s voice softened. “They are better now Tamz. Don’t get that look in your eyes you're still friends with the boy. It’s not like he’s gone. But sweetie, your heart always deserved better than him. I think, no I KNOW you’ve finally found Mr. Right, no question about it. There’s a glow to your eyes when he’s around. A glow I’ve only seen with him. NO other guy has ever put you into such a state of happiness. Answer me this do you love him?” “Of course I wouldn’t marry him if I didn’t,” Tammy said shaking her head. “No Tam I’m saying does he complete that lost part of you? Does he take
care of you when you need him? Does he love YOU unconditionally? Does HE
come first priority in your life” Vaughn asked softly.
Tammy’s eyes brimmed with tears at she looked at her friend.
******************************** He had gotten out of bed and was now staring at his reflection in the mirror. Did he always look this tired? His mind drifted wondering if she thought about him as much as he thought about her, probably not she had completely moved on, hell she was getting married and today no less. He had been the one to initiate the break up, he had even encouraged her to start dating her soon to-be-husband, and he was the one who moved on first, to the woman who now lay in his bed. So why did it hurt so much? And how come he couldn’t get the constant question of what would have happened if they were still together out of his head? “Sweetie, we need to get ready for the wedding,” her cat like voice purred. He slowly padded out of the bathroom and studied the woman in front of him. Everyone including himself thought things would be over between him and the brunette in front of him, but there she was in his dress shirt with that seductive ‘let’s stay in bed’ look. He was just about to respond when his phone rang. Quickly before she could answer it he picked it up and made his way out into the foyer. “Hello?” “Where are you?" The voice on the other line snapped. "The wedding is an hour and I know how long it takes you to get dressed and how long it takes to get to the church.” “Chill I’ll be leaving shortly, besides I’m not in the wedding party or anything I’d doubt they’d care.” “Don’t pull this shit! Not now. You know they will. You damn well better not upset her! Which may I point out you would by not coming. Add to that Vaughn will kick your ass.” “And now I can totally see why she thinks you’re a loser” he barked back aggravated with the tone of the caller. “And I can totally see why Tammy’s not marrying you,” the voice hissed back his tone one of disgust. “Such a fucking sweet heart you are, I can totally see why your single and V won’t give you the time of day.” “Now, you see that’s where you’re wrong. But, that’s beside the point. Be a man and come and say congratulations. You know she’ll be so disappointed if you don’t show,” the voice tried to coerce. “I don’t think I can. I just can’t believe she is really getting married. It seems like yesterday she was in MY arms telling ME she loved ME,” he admitted his heart aching at the words. “Jesus dude , YOU ended it. You were the one who let her get swept up by him. And I'm glad. He's good for her. You had to many chances to talk to her about how you felt. You let her think you didn't care about her that way, don't start this shit because now you're afraid you made the wrong choice. Today is not your last chance, yesterday was. Your just nervous, you’re afraid you’ll be alone. But you won't be man. Do me a favor and get your ass here put a damn smile on your face and really let go.” The voice said in a softened tone. “I know, I know, but their will always be apart of me that loves her.” “And the same goes for her loving you. You broke her heart, he mended it. You had your chance now it’s time for you to encourage and support her new life. Just because she is getting married doesn’t mean you cant love her anymore, just a different way. Just come, man.” “I can’t bring…her with me…to the wedding,” he said softly hearing the woman humming in the bathroom. “So don’t, I don’t have a date I was just gonna harass Vaughn. Which it works SOO much better when it’s double team,” the voice said with an evil tone. He could practically see the horns growing. “Well when you put it that way…no dude, how do I not take her. I mean the invitation was for her and me.” “Just tell her you need to do this alone,” the voice added softly. “I don’t know,” he said hesitantly. “Don't start this. Be a man, get down here, by yourself or I’ll send V to get you.” “She’s the maid of honor she can’t leave.” “She’d do it for you, so get your ass in gear you have thirty minutes. Don’t disappoint Vaughn and me and especially don’t let Tammy down. Make all those years up to her and get here.” The click of the phone echoed through his ears. He looked at the brunette getting dressed mere feet away. His gaze then went towards the foyer where a picture of himself, Tammy and Vaughn sat on the mantle. A picture taken six years before. He could still see the sparkle in her eyes, the way her smile made him feel alive. He threw it away, he let her go and now his heart yearned for the past. But he owed it to her to wish her well, to tell her he would always love her, that no other woman could ever compare to her, that he would one day be truly over her even though it didn’t seem anytime soon. He looked towards the brunette and cringed before making his way into the room where she looked at him expectantly. “Change of plans.” |